A Fairy Tale

Far away, in the belt of Orion, there was a small planetary mining colony. Here lived two brothers, Rika and Smika. Their old father Smirka while not an imaginative man, was a notorious gambler.

One day, when the old man was at the tavern, a drifter walked in. Seeing Smirka at the card table he came over and asked to play a hand.

"What will be your wager?" asked Smirka. "Do you have money?"

"No", said the drifter.

"Do you have nuggets of ore?" asked Smirka.

"No", said the drifter.

"Do you have children you can sell into slavery?" asked Smirka.

"No", said the drifter.

"Then what will you bet with?" asked Smirka.

"Land" replied the drifter, producing a claim deed. "My claim is as rich as a thousand kingdoms. In it are rubies, diamonds and uranium waiting for the one who will take them".

Smirka dealt the cards. The drifter kept overbidding till he lost everything. Smirka leaned over to take the deed.

The drifter cried, "Please sir, if you take my land, what will I live on?"

"Seems like you should have thought of that before you bet it" replied Smirka, smirking.

"Please sir, let me have some money to feed my belly. I'll wager a digger, the fastest, most beautiful digger in the galaxy. I only just bought it but what will I use it for now you have my land".

"Hmmm" thought Smirka. "I'll need a digger for the land. How much do you want for it?"

"I paid all my savings for this but I am desperate, you have ruined me. I will give it to you for 1000 credits".

"500 credits", bargained Smirka.

The drifter broke into tears. "Have mercy. Please give me at least 800. i promise you'll never see a better digger".

"All right, I'll give you 600 credits".

"Please sir, you would be kicjking the stomach of a destitute. At least give me 750".

"700 and that's my final offer" said Smirka.

The drifter sobbed and and produced a key. A short and triumphant game later, Smirka returned home and announced to his sons, "Boys, we are going to be miners".

The brothers were aghast. "But father, what about my PhD in neo-post-modernist media studies?" asked Rika.

Smirka brushed this aside, "With the money we'll make, you can buy a university to give you a degree".

Smika looked cautious "Where are we going?"

For the first time, Smirka examined the deed closely. It said, Greater Galt Gulch.

"But that's on the other side of the planet" cried Rika. "They don't even have heroin or prostitutes there".

Smika took out his Geography book. "Father", he said, "that is next to a protected zone. It is the habitat of the endangered Xenotian mole-rat".

"The what?" asked Rika.

Smika read from the book, "The Xenobian mole-rat is an endangered indigenous species of burrowing rodent found only in one part of our world".

Smirka banged his fist on the table, "No rat is going to stop me from getting my fortune. We go tomorrow".

The next day, the family set out by air freighter. Smirka had sold the house, car, shares in teh casino and even his prized set of untraceable marked cards to buy a tent and supplies.

At the port, they asked a policeman, "Which way to Greater Galt Gulch?"

"Huh?" asked the confused cop.

Smirka handed him the deed.

The cop looked surprised. "Oh you mean Gopher's Gulch. Everyone calls it that on account of the critters that live there. What do you want in that place?"

"None of your concern" said a suspicious Smirka.

The cop shrugged. "I'll program the teleporter. If you need to come back or send anything just put it on the pad on the other side".

The three of them entered the pad. The policeman pressed a button and the teleporter went ZAP. The three found themselves in a desolate sandy wasteland. To the side was parked a weather-beaten old Chinese made digger 25 years out of warranty with only a month's worth of atomic fuel left.

"We can't use the digger on the sand" pointed out Smirka.

"This sand will ruin my complexion" cried Rika.

As Smirka realized he had been conned out of 700 credits, his old heart gave up and he fell down dead.

Smika dug a hole and buried his father while Rika complained. "Stupid old fool. Now my life is ruined. My treatise on Post-hypnotic post-truth tri-chakra hypocrisy will remain unwritten. I will become a slave and be abused by a cruel master".

By sundown both of them were exhausted. Smika pitched the tent and the both entered and fell asleep.

The next morning, Smika awoke to the blazing rays of the sun. The tent was gone. So were the provisions and so was Rika. A note left behind said,

Dearest Brother,

Sorry to leave you but there is only enough left to pay for one ticket back. The universe needs me. So I must make the supreme sacrifice and leave you, my closest remaining relative to follow my call to duty. To spare you the heartache of parting, I slipped a sleeping draught into your food last night.

Goodbye forever and know that my heart is with you always. Know that no matter how far I get in life, I will always remember you.

Your brother,

Rika

Smika checked his watch. Rika would have left by now on the early morning freighter.

He got on the digger, found a likely spot and started digging with a shovel. Soon, a hjole appeared in front of him. A tiny furry head popped out. "How interesting," cried Smika. "A Xenobian mole-rat".

The mole rat stood on its hind legs and addressed him, "Please kind spaceman sir, if you dig here you will break my burrow. The roof will fall on my wife and children. If you spare us, I promise to share everything I have with you".

"All right, I won't hurt you" said Smika. "But where should I dig then?"

"Oh, all this land has mole-rat burrows. I wouldn't want to hurt my neighbors".

Smika's shoulders sagged. "Well, that's me done for then". He tossed aside the shovel and sat down under teh digger's shadow to contemplate his dismal fate.

"Don't look so sad, kind spaceman sir" said the mole-rat. It jumped back into its burrow and came out with a small lit stick. "Try this. The smoke always cheers us up when we are down".

Smika held the stick up to his nose. His eyes lit up in surprise and recognition. He took a tentative puff. Life didn't seem so bad after all. The stick was grade A ganja.

"Say, d you have more of this stuff?" asked Smika.

"Of course spaceman sir. It grows freely underground and we line our burrows with it".

"i may have a business proposition for you" said Smika.

That is the founding story told to every new employee of the Interstellar Gopher Ganja Corporation.

The End